Embracing new experiences whereas touring to completely different international locations alleviated many of the writer’s trepidation about how individuals would see her.
Foraslengthy as I can bear in mind, the intersections of my id as a Black girl, a Muslim, and a Muslim girl have include labels of warning. These labels have been about how I’d be regarded on this planet and normally, it was unfavourable. To many individuals, nothing about my bodily look signifies that I’ve the fitting to stay in essentially the most full and strong model of myself. There’s a perception that my id isolates me and that, outdoors of America, others wouldn’t settle for or respect me.
As a Black girl, I’m seen a sure method: aggressive, loud or uneducated. As a Muslim girl, I’m usually perceived as oppressed, docile or the particular person you’ll discover strolling 10 paces behind a person. Combining the 2 would instinctually befuddle individuals as a result of, to many individuals outdoors of the U.S., Black individuals are from Africa and Africa solely.
My first relocation occurred in 2015, precisely one month after Sandra Bland was killed. Whereas I had by no means lived abroad earlier than and even traveled a lot overseas, I felt that my security in my own residence was being jeopardized and I didn’t have many options left. So I bought a one-way ticket to Cairo, Egypt. Though I used to be conscious that girls, Muslims and other people of shade confronted prejudice and marginalization on a worldwide scale, I used to be steadfast in my perception that there have to be a location on the planet the place I might stay with out concern of struggling such dire repercussions for being who I’m. And so I started what would develop into a seek for my soul’s house.
The writer felt that her security in my own residence was being jeopardized — so she bought a one-way ticket to Cairo.
To be utterly clear, I used to be additionally uninterested in all of the narratives round being Black, Muslim and a girl within the U.S. — narratives that have been deeply rooted in misogyny and anti-Blackness had no place with me any longer. I stepped into the mindset that the world was simply going to cope with it and settle for me as I used to be and never concern or misunderstand my existence. Nevertheless, regardless of the place you go, from Asia to Africa, colorism, misogynoir and sexism nonetheless dominate cultures and societies globally. There are overt ranges you could completely escape, however colonialism and imperialism have proven that it’s deeply rooted and can also be prevalent within the journey journey like a stamp in your passport.
Nevertheless, embracing new experiences whereas touring to completely different international locations alleviated most of my trepidation about how individuals would see me as a result of I knew that the extra alternative I gave to them to lean in, they’d be hooked.
A type of moments was my time touring all through China. So many individuals have spoken about how they felt like they have been handled like sideshows as a result of individuals would take photos of them and even attempt to contact them. For years, individuals would ask how I might even journey there when the northwestern area of Xinjiang, China, was being investigated for human rights crimes in opposition to Uyghur Muslims. However, I additionally knew that after touring the world, each particular person’s expertise is exclusive and a tradition is rarely painted with one brush.
My time in China confirmed me that simply because sure cultural parts are unfamiliar to me, it doesn’t make it fallacious. So in moments the place individuals might have reached out to the touch me or needed an unwarranted photograph, I made the choice to coach them on my tradition and that permission and limits are important for me. I additionally discovered that some actions or attitudes that come throughout as mocking have been truly admiration and marvel. And I may very well be OK with that, whereas nonetheless being myself and permitting individuals to be themselves with a bit extra compassion and understanding (from all events). Total, there have been an array of varied reactions to me however largely, individuals left me alone.
Only for a bit context, China has one of many oldest Islamic histories on this planet and round 20 million Muslims presently stay there. I don’t converse Mandarin outdoors of fundamental phrases, however the Islamic customs that I used to be taught as a baby — and realized via my experiences as an grownup by way of brother- and sisterhood — met me at masjids in Chongqing and Beijing whereas praying beside my sisters and their kids. I dined in a number of halal eating places throughout the nation the place individuals greeted me with smiles and “salaams.” And so, I felt solace in realizing that I used to be proper the place I wanted to be as a result of these strangers and I have been linked via a thread of humanity. No matter expertise these individuals might have with me, they’d inform somebody about it and doubtless dispel a delusion, much like the parable I’m dispelling in my writing: {that a} girl like me can’t efficiently journey internationally and discover peace.
The idea of individuals “fearing what they don’t perceive” is actual.
There was a time throughout my travels {that a} group of highschool college students in Cairo, Egypt, requested me about coming there alone. It utterly blew them away that I left with no household, not to mention any male family. I understood their concern, after all. However I bear in mind explaining to them that in life, it’s necessary to determine who you wish to be on this planet and take each step towards that. I informed them that my best purpose was to stay with out concern and likewise be a robust illustration for girls like myself — and one of the simplest ways to try this was for me to journey and stay amongst individuals who didn’t come from the place I got here from or appeared like me.
Relating to my private security, my habits and behaviors have stayed constant. At evening, I don’t enterprise off too removed from the place I’m staying. I usually make it possible for by the point the solar goes down, I’m precisely the place I should be for the rest of the night. I additionally determine the place I’m going forward of time and plan my journey again house. This fashion, in conditions the place cab drivers might wish to take detours or my cellphone might not have service, I do know exactly once I’m not headed in the fitting route.
I additionally carry some kind of weapon on me, whether or not it’s pepper spray, a knife, a taser, and even strategically positioned keys. And though I exploit social media regularly, I by no means geotag my location in actual time and, if I’m solo, I don’t keep in the identical lodging for greater than 72 hours. I by no means need somebody with unsavory intentions to know that I’m persistently alone and make the belief that I could be a straightforward goal. The fact is that in an effort to get pleasure from myself overseas and at house, I do what I really feel is important to up my stage of bodily security.
However again to my emotional safety: I’ve realized through the years that the trepidation of world journey doesn’t exist for me as a result of I enable individuals to rise up shut and to ask the uncomfortable questions. I additionally supply perception into who I’m relating to the intersections I current to the world. The idea of individuals “fearing what they don’t perceive” is actual. Concern focuses on the unknown, so I lean into studying and likewise educating as a result of as soon as individuals know, then they’ve a duty to do higher, be higher, and count on higher from the individuals round them.